Never Look Back (Counting Stars Book 1) Page 8

  "You don't give much away. I want to know everything I can about you. You intrigue me."

  My stomach clenched at the thought of him knowing my past. I'm glad he couldn't see my face at the moment, I'm sure the anxiety on my face would be a giveaway of the horror I escaped from. "I'm pretty boring." I managed to get out.

  He shifted, pulling me up to face him. "You are anything but boring to me. Look, we all have a past. I have a feeling you ran from yours, and that's why you're here. I don't care who you were before coming here. All that matters to me is you are sitting in this truck with me right now. I'm so damn nervous, Kelsey. I just-"

  I leaned up and put my mouth over his. I knew it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but it was to shut him up. Or not. I needed to feel him. He quickly joined in on the kiss, bringing his hands to cup my face. I grabbed his sweater, pulling him as close as he could get to me. When I pulled back, he leaned forward, placing small kisses along my jaw until he reached my mouth again. My heart was racing, and with him breathing heavy, I'm sure his was too.

  "Way to surprise me. I thought I wasn’t allowed to kiss you." he said softly.

  I gave him a shy smile. “No, you’re not allowed to kiss me…but I didn’t say anything about me kissing you.”

  He returned my smile and looked behind me out the window. “KELSEY-LOOK!”

  The northern lights were on display outside of my window, stretching along the night sky. Beautiful hues of greens and blues were like waves amongst the stars.

  "Come on, grab your coat." he said. We both bundled back up and walked out onto the field. It was definitely cold, but the beauty of the lights made the cold bearable. Spencer jumped into the bed of the truck and pulled me up. We sat against the side of the truck and gazed at the beautiful sight.

  "Spencer, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

  He looked at me, slightly smiling. "Close, but what I see is so much more." Although I was freezing, a heat wave came over my body with those sweet words. He leaned in, placing a small kiss on my lips. He broke the kiss much sooner than I would have liked. "You're shivering. Do you want to go back in the truck?" he asked.

  I shook my head. "No way. I can handle it."

  Spencer jumped over the side of the truck, reaching into the backseat. "Here." He said, handing me a large blanket. I quickly unfolded it and waited for Spencer to sit beside me before wrapping it around us both. He pulled me in between his legs, letting my back rest against his chest. We watched the lights quietly, only looking away briefly for small kisses. When the lights slowly faded away, Spencer squeezed me tightly. "I don't want this night to end." he said in my ear.

  I nuzzled into his neck, enjoying the heat coming off his skin. "Me either. Can I be honest?"

  He looked down at me with concerned eyes. "Please."

  "This is the first time I've felt...good in a long time, Spencer. The last six years of my life have been really rough, and there were times that I thought it wasn't worth living for anymore. I don’t know how you’ve done it, but you're making me feel a lot better about myself."

  He leaned his head against mine. "Kelsey, you deserve to feel good about yourself. I'm upset you had a rough patch in your life, but I promise I'll do anything I can in my power to make it better from here on out. Tonight has been the best night I've had in years. You're giving me hope to be happy in a relationship at some point. I really like you, Kelsey...can I ask you something, though?"

  Uh oh. "Yeah..."

  "I want to do this some more with you. Keep hanging out just the two of us and see what happens with no pressure. Can we do that?"

  I smirked. "Just hanging out. I don’t think we should be taking things any farther than this."

  His gorgeous smile appeared. “When did you lose your will power?”

  I giggled. "It went out the window when I got in this truck tonight. You know…something to do with seatbelts."

  He laughed loudly and tucked me against him. “Thank God for seatbelts. I’m really ok with you losing your will power.”

  Spencer took me home shortly after midnight. This was the best night I’ve had in such a long time. Spencer walked me into the lobby of the building, even though I told him it wasn’t necessary. We stopped when we were at the elevator bays, and I scanned my keycard.

  “I had a good time Spencer. Thank you.” I said, feeling shy for some reason.

  He smiled, nodding his head. “I did too. Thank you Kelsey.”

  The ping of the elevator interrupted us. “Good night Spencer.”

  He leaned over and pressed a small kiss to my lips. “Good night Kelsey.”

  I watched him stand against the pillar as the elevator doors closed. My head fell against the wall and I closed my eyes.

  What am I getting myself into?

  Chapter Seventeen

  I’ve never been to Mexico. Before going to Vancouver, I had never been outside mainland America. The studio wasn’t able to get us all on the same flight, so I was booked on a flight with Ryleigh and Collin. I wished that I could be on a flight with Spencer, but it was probably best for us to have some space, especially after the other night.

  Our flight arrived in Cancun around three in the morning. I did well on the flight, but poor Ryleigh probably had a fractured hand from my grip from the landing. We arrived at a resort on the ocean shortly before four. Ryleigh and I checked in and went straight to our room.

  I washed my face and brushed my teeth before climbing into bed. “What time is Spencer getting here?” Ryleigh yawned from her bed.

  “He should already be here. I’ll see him in the morning. What time does filming start?”

  She rolled over, mumbling. “Not until sunset. All the scenes we’re filming here are night scenes.”

  I curled up in the middle of an entirely too large bed and my body relaxed immediately. “Night Ry.”

  “Ummm…”

  Beating on the door woke me from a dead sleep. Ryleigh was still sleeping, so I quickly ran to the door. I looked out the peep hole and found Spencer. I opened the door quickly and stepped outside.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, my voice raspy with sleep.

  His eyes took a sweep of my body, smiling mischievously. “You’re adorable when you first wake up.”

  “Huh?” I finally realized that I was in a pair of short shorts and a tank top. My hair was probably everywhere and I wasn’t wearing a bra. I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling self-conscious. “You were banging on the door, is everything alright?”

  He leaned against the door frame and smiled. “Everything’s perfect, I’m at the beach! I want to head down to the ocean to go swimming, do you want to come with me?”

  How is he awake already? “Spence what time is it?”

  “It’s almost one.” He laughed.

  “What!? Uh, yeah, I want to go to the beach. I need to get a swimsuit first.” I said. The door opened behind us, presenting a zombie-like Ryleigh.

  “Seriously, can either of you be any louder? Come inside Kels and we’ll go down to the gift shop so we can get you a suit. Spencer we’ll meet you down there in a half hour.”

  She closed the door behind her and Spencer laughed. “She’s a little scary in the morning.”

  I giggled. “I’ll see you down at the beach.” I turned the door knob in my hand and Spencer shut the door, pressing me against it. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, taking my breath away. I put my hands on his chest in attempt to push him away, but he had other plans.

  My wrists were locked in his hands, now above my head against the door. He pressed his hips into mine, causing me to gasp. He took advantage of the opening and slid his tongue against mine hungrily. I managed to get my hands free and thread my fingers through his hair. He ran his hands down my body, resting one on my hip and the other grabbing my thigh, hiking it up onto his hip. He started a trail of kisses down my neck, leading towards my shoulder. I missed his lips on mine instantly, but took the opportunity to tell him
the only sensible thought in my head.

  “Spence, take it easy. I don’t want our friendship to be all about…this.”

  And, of course, I say that as his mouth brushes against the sensitive area that connects the neck and shoulders. I let out an unwilling moan.

  He chuckled against my neck. “Do you want me to stop?”

  No. No sir, I do not want you to stop. Those thoughts were about to come out of my mouth when I suddenly felt like I was free falling.

  Wait…this feels good, and I know I haven’t had sex in a while, but…

  OUCH.

  Spencer was laying on top of me, crushing me into the carpeted floor of the room Ryleigh and I shared. Ryleigh was standing over us in her swimsuit, her arms crossed.

  “Did you really just open the door and let us fall in the room?” I groaned.

  “Do I need to hose you two down? Spencer, get off of my friend, you horn dog. I thought I told you we’d meet you in a half hour down at the beach?”

  He stood up before helping me to my feet. “I’m sorry, Ryleigh. I’ll see you at the beach.”

  He winked at me and started walking towards the beach path. I leaned against the door frame, watching him from afar.

  Controlling my feelings around him is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

  After finding two swimsuits and changing into the one piece, Ryleigh and I walked to the beach. This was the first time I’ve got a good look at the water since we arrived yesterday. The crystal blue water was unlike anything I’d ever seen. Spencer, Collin and Andrew, another actor, were all in the water, waving to us to come out. Ryleigh unwrapped her towel from her body and threw it on the sand and ran into the water. I was a little uneasy taking my towel off in front of these people, but it was too hot to stay on the beach all day. I put my towel beside Ryleigh’s and walked into the refreshing water.

  Spencer swam to me, smiling brightly. “Looking good.” He whispered in my ear.

  I rolled my eyes and pushed him away, knowing for a fact that my ultra-white legs made me look anything but good.

  Ryleigh got on Collin’s shoulders and challenged me to a game of chicken. Before I could answer, Spencer swam underneath me and lifted out of the water with me on his shoulders. I squealed and held onto the top of his head.

  “You ready to take them down Kel?” Spencer’s hands were wrapped around my legs, his thumb was brushing against my skin.

  “Let’s do it!” I yelled as Spencer lunged towards them. Collin quickly moved out of the way and Spence and I went down into the water. He pulled me up out of the water, kissing me on top of the head before I crawled back on his shoulders. Andrew laughed, declaring the first point to Collin. The next round went much longer, tiring me and Ryleigh out. We won the next round, so we went into a tie breaker. Spencer slipped on a shell, and we were out within seconds. Collin and Ryleigh celebrated their victory as I helped nurse Spencer’s wounded ego.

  “Check this shell out Kel, this is the one I stepped on. Isn’t it beautiful?” Spencer held up a beautiful white full conch shell.

  I took it from him and examined it in awe. “I’ve never seen a full conch shell before, it’s beautiful. Let’s take it home.”

  “I’m going to go get my tan on, you coming Kels?” Ryleigh asked. Spencer grabbed my hand under the water and squeezed it, letting me know not to go back in yet.

  “I think I’ll stay out for a little longer, I’ll be in soon. Can you put this on my towel please?” I handed her the shell and she nodded.

  Collin gave me a smirk and looked over at Ryleigh. “Ry, I’m coming too. We need to build a tan for our trip next week!” Ryleigh started jumping up and down when he mentioned their trip for Thanksgiving.

  “I swear, if he doesn’t break up with Jessica soon and just hook up with Ryleigh already I’m going to shoot the pair of them.” Spencer mumbled.

  I turned towards him, lifting my brow. “Why’s that?”

  He gave a smile, nodding back towards them. “Just look at them, they are both head over heels for one another and each of them are too scared to admit it.”

  I looked back on the beach and found Collin giving Ryleigh a piggyback ride to their towels. I could hear her giggles over the waves.

  “So he’s admitted he likes her?” I asked.

  Spencer grinned. “Nope. He admitted he loved her. I don’t get it. If you love someone, or even have feelings for someone, why do people keep it secret? What’s the worst thing that could happen? The other person doesn’t feel the same? Big deal. At least you know then.”

  I shrugged. “I mean, isn’t that some of the fun of it? Wondering how the other person feels about you? It’s kind of like a rush. You see that person and get butterflies and your heart flutters. You think of them and it brings a smile to your face.”

  “Then there are the times where you’re uncertain and it kills you. All you want to do is be next to the person, and you’re completely unsure if they feel the same. It tears you down.” His face was serious. I didn’t realize he was such an emotional guy.

  I swam over to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. “It does, but it makes those butterflies and flutters so much better. I’ve experienced some of that recently…and it makes everything so much sweeter.”

  He reached for my legs and brought them around his waist, securing them with his arms. “I’ve experienced the up and downs since the day I met you. It drives me insane not knowing what you are thinking.” He whispered, closing his eyes.

  “Spencer.” I tried to untangle my legs from around his hips, but he held me tighter. “Just for a second, I need to hold you for just a second.”

  I sighed, knowing this wasn’t a good idea especially after this morning. “You know how I feel about you. If I wasn’t so messed up I’d be willing to try. I don’t want to mess you up too.”

  He leaned his head to the side and gave a wicked smile. “I’d be ok if you messed me up.”

  I rolled my eyes and pushed him away. He dramatically jumped out of the water and flew backwards, exaggerating all his movements. I laughed until he swam underneath me and picked me up, throwing me in the air behind him.

  We spent another hour in the ocean, playing around and enjoying being alone together. It was fun to relax and have a good time. Ryleigh was right. Once you get to know Spencer, it’s hard not to like him…and it’s even harder not to fall for him.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Filming began around eight on the beach, and Ryleigh and I sat and watched the takes. The breeze off the ocean was refreshing, considering it was still almost eighty degrees.

  “I have something to tell you.” I told Ryleigh.

  She looked over at me and winced. “Please don’t tell me you’re in love with Spencer.”

  I laughed loudly, nudging her arm. “Of course not! But…Spencer told me that-“

  “He loves you!?” She gasped.

  I moaned out of frustration. “NO! Just listen to me! He told me that Collin admitted to him that he’s in love with you.”

  Ryleigh’s face fell. She turned to where the boys were filming and she shook her head. “No, that’s impossible. He’s in love with Jessica. Spence must have just heard him wrong.” She answered.

  I noticed tears in her eyes, so I grabbed her hand. She let out a single laugh to hide her sob.

  “I see the way he is with you. Have you told him how you feel? I think things would be much different if you did.”

  She shook her head again, keeping her eyes on him. “I’m scared to, Kels. I haven’t had a boyfriend in a long time, and the last one…” She wiped her eyes quickly. “Anyways, it doesn’t matter. I’m not a home wrecker. If he’s not happy with her, I want him to break up with her because of that reason, not because of me. If it’s supposed to happen, it will.”

  I put my arm around her and she rested her head on my shoulder. “I’d totally date you Ryleigh, you know…if I had a penis.”

  She laughed loudly and wrapped her arm around mine.
“Thanks, but I’m glad you don’t have a penis. I like that you’re my bestie.”

  I smiled. “Me too. Now cheer up, we’re in freaking Cancun! What would make you feel better right now?”

  She sighed, sitting up straight. “I need a drink. Hey! You!” Ryleigh yelled over to a resort waiter and he ran over.

  “Can I get you something ma’am?” he asked politely.

  “Yes, my friend and I would like some type of ‘fru fru’ drink. You know, the frozen ones with the cute little umbrellas?” Ryleigh tried to explain. It already sounded like she was drunk.

  The waiter laughed. “Yes ma’am, I know what you’re talking about. Do you ladies like strawberries?”

  “Yes!” She exclaimed. The waiter reappeared a few minutes later with two large frozen drinks with umbrellas. “And what do you call these little fancy guys?” She asked.

  “This is called a Coral Reef. You can’t taste the alcohol in these, so take it easy. They kinda sneak up on you.” He winked and went back to serving other crew members.

  I’m usually not a big drinker, but these frozen drinks were refreshing and went down easily. After the first two, Ryleigh laid down on the sand and looked up at the stars. “I should try to tell the future by the stars, like on the show. Ok…you see that cluster over there?”

  She sloppily pointed to the big dipper. My head was fuzzy, so I just played along. “Yes, I see those. What do they say to you Ry?”

  She giggled. “They say that Collin will break up with Jessica because she’s a whore. A dirty whore. You know who isn’t a dirty whore? Me. Or you. You aren’t a dirty whore either. I’m glad you’re not a dirty whore.”

  I signaled to the waiter for another round. “I’m glad I’m not one either. I wasn’t even one in my old life.” I whispered…kinda.

  She laughed. “Me either. I’m glad we weren’t whores. In your old life, were you a virgin? I totally wasn’t, but I wasn’t a dirty whore either.”

  I sat up when the waiter brought our drinks to us. “No, I wasn’t a virgin, but I was pretty damn close. I only ever kissed one person. I only ever had sex with one person. I was kinda prudish. I was boring. I still am kinda boring. I shouldn’t be boring in my new life. Help me be not boring.”