Never Look Back (Counting Stars Book 1) Read online

  A sob escaped my throat. If? “Don’t you mean when? He’s going to be fine. He has to be fine.”

  Mama put her hand on my back. “Listen to what she has to say honey.” She said softly.

  I took a deep breath, letting Tina continue. “If he bounces back, he has several surgeries in front of him. He has a couple fractures in his back and his left leg is shattered. He’s not stable enough to get surgery yet. He has a very, very long road ahead of him Becca.”

  I needed to see him, feel him. I pushed past her and walked into his room. All the air left my lungs when I saw him. He had IVs coming out of each arm, a tube down his throat, and several machines that made loud beeping noises. I ran my fingers down his bruised and swollen face, letting my tears fall onto his chest. Pres put a chair beside me and made me sit down. I grabbed onto Wyatt’s hand, promising him I wouldn’t let go until he was awake. I kept that promise for three days until the doctors weaned him off the sedatives. It took him a while to fully come to, but I was never so happy to see those brown eyes looking back at me. Pres left for college a few days after Wyatt woke up and I decided to stay in Monroe. There was no way I was leaving him like this. Over the next few weeks, Wyatt had three surgeries. He did well with each, and after being in the hospital for two months, he was finally discharged to come home. We moved him into our house during his recovery so I could take care of him. This may not be how I expected to spend what should be my freshman year of college, but I would never choose to be anywhere but with him.

  Chapter Seven

  I walked outside into the cold Canadian air and buttoned my coat up. Vancouver is nothing like home. I miss the warmth of the sun...I miss wearing my sundresses and cowgirl boots...and most importantly, I miss laying in the field of flowers on my parents farm. When things got too tough with Wyatt that was my escape. I loved the way the overgrown grass felt as it brushed against my legs while I walked to the wild flower field. I loved the way the flowers smelled so intoxicating. I loved how that field of flowers took away the pain...all of the pain. I haven't found my safe haven in Vancouver yet, and I'm not sure that I will.

  I walked across the parking lot to the large SUV that I was given yesterday as my "work vehicle." Ryleigh was running behind me with a waffle hanging out of her mouth, trying to catch up. I did not want to be late on my first day as Spencer's assistant, so I threatened to leave her to drive herself. I started the car as she slid in the passenger seat. "Wow, you're a goodie two shoes. No one is ever on time, not even Spencer." she laughed.

  "He might not be...you might not be...but I will. I'm very prompt, I don't like tardiness." After those words left my lips, I realized my tone was harsher than I intended. I quickly looked over to Ryleigh, whose jaw was now sitting in her lap. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to have an attitude. I'm just a little nervous. I need things to be a certain way or-"

  "Or you feel like you'll lose control?" she asked quietly. I barely nodded, giving her a sad smile. She sighed, putting her hand on my arm. "Kelsey its ok. I understand how you feel. It'll get better with time, believe me. I wasn't offended at all actually. I was extremely surprised that you had that little bit of sass come out. You may need that with Spencer; sometimes he can be a handful."

  Great.

  I was almost ten minutes early arriving to the production lot, and that was even after the insane security checks. After leaving Ryleigh in the coffee line, I found myself standing outside of Spencer's trailer. Do I knock? Do I just walk in? Suddenly the door to the trailer swung open, dismissing my questions. I jumped at the unexpected movement, noticing Spencer standing in the doorway. His green eyes narrowed in on me, taking a sweep of my body.

  "Good Mor-"

  “No coffee?" He scowled. Oh boy.

  I instantly felt queasy. "Uh, I can umm...how do you-"

  He flexed his jaw. "Black. I expect coffee every morning. Make it quick, I have things I need to go over with you." And with those words, the door slammed shut and I was dismissed.

  I quickly walked to the coffee line, passing Ryleigh on the way. "Already on your first assignment?" she asked with excitement. I ignored her, taking my place in the large line. Crap. This wasn't going to be a good day. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, coming up beside me.

  "Sometimes he can be a handful? Are you kidding me? He just bit my head off because I didn't have coffee for him. On my first friggin’ day! How in the world am I supposed to know he likes black coffee? And I thought he was never here on time? He beat me to the trailer!" I was shaking, and I wasn't sure if it was because I was cold, I was scared or from anger. I think maybe it was a combo of all three.

  Ryleigh held out her coffee cup, offering me a sympathetic smile. "I'm really sorry. This is a black coffee; I'll stand in line to get another one for Collin. He wouldn't dare speak to me like that. You need to take up for yourself, Kelsey. Otherwise he will walk all over you. You're his assistant, not his bitch."

  I gratefully took the coffee out of her hand, giving her a hug. "Thank you, Ryleigh. I need to get back. I owe you."

  I knocked lightly on the trailer door, hoping I wasn't disturbing him. After a few louder knocks, and still no answer, I decided to walk in. Ryleigh said I needed to stand up for myself; I guess this was as good as any time to start. I closed the door behind me, taking a deep breath.

  Spencer was lying on the couch, passed out. Really? I've been gone five minutes! Ugh. Should I wake him? Will he get mad? At this point, I couldn't care less.

  "Spencer." I said loudly. No movement. "Spencer." I said louder. Not even a twitch. "SPENCER!" I yelled, causing him to sit straight up. He looked at me wide eyed with sleep still in his eyes.

  "Here is your coffee, sir." I said a little too sweet, sarcasm dripping from my words. He rubbed his face with his hands, then reached for the coffee. He looked at the clock on the wall, then back to me.

  "Seems like you made it through the coffee line pretty quick." I noticed his already deep voice was raspier when he was tired...and it was hot. Besides his eyes, this is the only thing he has going for him.

  "What did you want to go over with me?" I asked, still standing. He closed his eyes, taking a long sip of coffee. I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for him to answer. He brought his attention back to me, but didn't say anything. He licked his bottom lip before taking another sip of coffee. That simple, innocent gesture affected me for some reason. I turned away and took a deep breath, breaking our staring contest. I purposely began looking at anything else in the trailer other than him. His trailer was pretty disgusting...not only was there clutter, but it was filthy. Empty take out containers and soda cans littered most of the tables. Scripts from previous shows were piled in the corner. Clothes were strewn over the floor and the furniture. This man is not only a jerk, but he's disgusting, too.

  I noticed he was still staring at me. I was becoming really irritated. "What? Are you going to say anything?"

  He looked down to the ground, then back to me. "Don't judge me. I haven't had an assistant in a while." His voice was quiet.

  "What does that have to do with anything?" I questioned.

  "I see the way you're looking around my trailer." His clipped tone was becoming increasingly defensive.

  I sighed, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "You don't have to live like a total slob because you don't have an assistant. You're a big boy, you can pick up after yourself." After I spoke those words, I instantly felt sick. I've never talked to a man like this before. Not my father, not my brother, and definitely not Wyatt.

  Spencer stood up quietly, closing the space in between us. He sat his coffee down on the table before standing just a few inches from me. I felt my fingers knotted together, a nervous habit that I developed a long time ago. With my heart pounding, I decided I needed to stand up for myself, just like Ryleigh said. I looked up at Spencer's face, unable to read his expression.

  "You're right...there isn't an excuse. But listen to me right now, Kelsey...I will not be talked to
like that by my assistant, do you understand me?" he was whispering, but it scared me more than if he were yelling at the top of his lungs. My knotted hands were now shaking, a lump forming in my throat. I had to say something...

  "I understand..." I began. I took a deep breath before finishing my thought. "But I will not be talked to like this by my boss, do you understand me?" I was also whispering, but I felt the shakiness in my voice. I was hoping he was paying attention to my words rather than the tone.

  He looked down at my fingers, then back up at me. "Do I scare you?"

  I quickly unknotted my fingers and brought my arms to my sides. "No, of course not." I said, trying to radiate confidence. He gave me a half smile before turning away. I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding. He picked up the clothes on the couch and tossed them in a corner.

  "Take a seat, we can talk about what I need from you before we're called to the set." It was almost like a switch had been turned on. Just a few seconds ago he was cold...now he's fine? What the heck? "Are you going to join me?" he asked while sitting down, patting the couch cushion beside him. I sat on the opposite end of the couch, facing him. He gave me a shrug before grabbing a box on the floor.

  "Here is an iPhone for you to use for work. I programed several numbers in the contact list that you will need. I ask that you keep it on at all times in case I need you. There have been instances that I've needed my assistant to travel with me with very short notice. Is that something you will be available to do?"

  "Yes."

  He raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? I mean, is there anything in your personal life that would prevent you from being able to pick up and go?"

  Nope. I have nothing, thanks for reminding me. "No, I'm single and I don't have children. There's nothing holding me back."

  He quietly looked at me for a few moments before speaking again. "Ok. Do you feel comfortable with your vehicle?"

  "Yes, I do. Thank you for allowing me to use it for work."

  He nodded. "You'll need a reliable vehicle. You’ll also need a credit card for my purchases. I ordered it last night and had a two day rush put on it. I’ll get it to you when it comes in.”

  A car, credit card, iPhone…anything else Money Bags?

  “So the first thing every morning you'll need to do is pick up a schedule of call times. I would like it if you met me here every morning to have a small meeting of the day's events before getting started. What I need you for most is to make sure I'm where I need to be when I need to be there. I don't like to be late. Is that an issue for you?"

  I shook my head.

  "Good. From time to time, I'll need you to run errands for me. Just things like picking up dry cleaning or taking me to the airport, nothing major. At the beginning of filming a new episode, we do what's called a table read with the rest of the cast and crew. After that, I like to go over my lines, so I'll ask you to help me with that. Basically, you'll just be hanging out with me to do things that I need. We're going to be spending a lot of time together Kelsey." He was giving me that half smile again.

  Ugh. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for him and his mood swings.

  Or that ridiculously hot half smile.

  I was on the set watching filming for the rest of the morning, getting a small break from Mr. Moody. The other highlight of the morning was spending time with Ryleigh. I'm beginning to enjoy spending time with her more and more. Although I don't know what went down in her life before she came here, what she is now is what I hope I can be one day. She's happy and outgoing, two qualities that I used to embody.

  "Has he got over his fit from this morning?" Ryleigh asked.

  I shrugged. "I have no idea. One minute he was really rude, then the next he was all business like. I don't get him."

  Ryleigh frowned. "If you want to quit I totally understand."

  I looked over to her, crossing my arms. "That would be the easy way out. I've been told that's not always the best thing to do on the route to recovery. Besides, wouldn't this jerk be winning if I ran screaming for the hills? If he wants to make my life rough, I'll stay and make his even rougher. I have a lot of anger and aggression I could use to get out."

  Ryleigh laughed loudly. "That's what I'm talking about."

  When the director released the crew for lunch, I made my way to Spencer. Ryleigh said I should ask him if there is anything he would like for lunch, so I took her advice. When Spencer noticed me walking towards him, he excused himself from Collin and began walking towards me. "Everything alright?" he asked nicely.

  I was a bit taken back by his friendliness. I even turned around to make sure he wasn't talking to someone else. When it was clear that there wasn't anyone else around, I brought my attention back to him.

  "You really had to look to see if I was talking to someone else?" he questioned, this time smiling brightly.

  Ok...this was another thing he had going for him.

  I felt my cheeks burn at his words. "Yes, I did. Anyways, is there anything I can get you for lunch?"

  A small look of surprise came across his face. "I haven't been asked that in a while. What were you planning on getting?"

  "A sandwich, I'm not too hungry."

  "Ok. I'll take two turkey sandwiches with provolone, mayo and lettuce. Sour cream and onion chips and a soda. Meet me at my trailer; we'll go over some more things during lunch." Without giving me a moment to speak, he was gone.

  "Kelsey, come eat with Collin and I in his trailer!" Ryleigh yelled from another line.

  I frowned. "I can't, Spencer wants to go over things during lunch."

  Ryleigh grunted, crossing her arms.

  I made it back to Spencer's trailer with his lunch fairly quick...or so I thought. When I opened the door, he was sitting on the couch watching television. He rolled his eyes at me. "It’s about damn time, I'm starving. What took so long?"

  I'm getting whiplash from his sudden mood changes. "I wasn't gone long. Feel free to get your own lunch next time." I mumbled under my breath.

  "What did you say?" he asked, standing to hover over me. I took a step back from him.

  I cleared my throat and gathered my nerve. "I said feel free to get your own lunch next time. I was trying to be nice. Obviously you can't keep an assistant because you treat them like garbage." I threw the bag of food onto the table and turned around to walk away.

  "Where in the hell do you think you're going?"

  I turned around at the door and gave him an obvious death stare. “I’m going to eat with people who actually would like my company, not make me feel incompetent. I’ll be back for the next call time to get you, sir.” My voice was laced with disgust. I hated being disrespectful, but one thing I learned while I spent time with the therapist was not to let anyone walk over me anymore. Respect is earned, not given. He definitely hasn’t earned my respect yet. I slammed the door shut and made my way to Collin’s trailer. Ryleigh answered the door with a surprised expression. I walked in without being invited, which was terribly rude but I needed to get as far away from Spencer Mills as possible.

  “Hey Kelsey! Spencer decide to let you come hang for a while?” Collin asked.

  I shook my head and sat my bag on the table. “Nope. He treated me like crap when I got back to his trailer AFTER getting him food. I am on lunch. I refuse to spend my break time being belittled. He can eat by himself.”

  Ryleigh’s eyes were the size of silver dollars. “Damn! Go ahead Kelsey!”

  Collin pulled the chair out next to him and I gladly took it. “I’m sorry he was rude to you Kelsey. He’s going through a rough time, but it’s no excuse.”

  “Damn straight.” Ryleigh huffed.

  I unwrapped my sandwich and tried to push the jerk out of my mind for the next forty minutes. Collin and Ryleigh were doing a good job of making me feel better. They were adorable together, and I couldn’t figure out what Collin saw in Jessica over her. A knock came to the door ten minutes before lunch was over. Collin and I continued to talk while Ryleigh answered
it.

  “Um…Kelsey…”

  I turned around to find Spencer standing at the door with his hands in his pockets. “I have ten minutes left on my lunch Mr. Mills. I’ll be happy to help you then.” I turned back in my seat to look back at Collin.

  “Could I speak to you for a minute Kelsey?” Spencer’s voice was quiet and friendly.

  Crap. He was totally putting on an act in front of Collin and Ry. I was completely used to this from Wyatt, and a wave of nausea came over me.

  I sighed, standing up. I threw my trash away and smiled at Collin. “Thanks for having me, I enjoyed myself. See ya later.”

  He smiled back. “You’re welcome anytime. Thanks for joining us.”

  Ryleigh patted me on the back as I walked past her and out the door. I stepped past Spencer and started walking towards his trailer.

  “Hey.” His hand grabbed my elbow. I turned around and looked at his chest.

  Come on Kelsey, you’re not scared of him, look him in the eye.

  I took a deep breath and looked at his face. His expression was hard to read. “I’m sorry I was a jerk to you. You’re right, you did something nice for me and I treated you like shit. I promise I’ll be better.”

  I felt conflicted. I couldn’t trust him yet. I decided to take the high road and give him another chance…his last chance. “Ok Spencer. I’ll accept your apology, but I’m being serious when I tell you, I refuse to be treated like your slave. I’m your employee, and I deserve to be treated as such. I don’t yell and scream at you, I expect you not to do the same to me.”

  I was shaking as I found this new confidence. His green eyes grew soft as he nodded. “You’re right. I will treat you right from here on out. Forgive me?”